ExtraFootie's Raj Mannick grabs a pillow, puts on some dark sunglasses and pretends to watch the night's truthfully average UEFA Champions League games.

Manchester United surrender their impressive European home record, Chelsea book top spot with a win in Porto and Bayern Munich live to fight another day...just!

Game of the Night - A thoroughly dull night in Europe saw a shamefully low number of goals fly in.

Thus bragging rights go to the game in Manchester United's group between CSKA Moscow and Wolfsburg, which saw the Russian outfit come from behind to win 2-1 and leave second place in the group up for grabs.

Goals from Thomas Necid and Milos Krasic cancelled out Edin Dzeko's early opener for the Bundesliga champions - it really was that exciting!

Performance of the Night - Bordeaux secured top spot in Group A as they produced an impressive and dogged performance to see off an aggressive Juventus team at Stade Chaban Delmas.

Goals from Fernando Menegazzo and an injury-time second from the highly-rated Marouane Chamakh saw Laurent Blanc's men top the group leaving Juve and Bayern Munich to battle for that second qualification spot.

Saliva is literally dripping from my lower lip at the prospect of that game!

Upset of the Night - Already qualified Manchester United saw their 23-game unbeaten home record smashed as Besiktas stole three points from Old Trafford from Fergie's young boys.

The predominantly second-string United showed exactly why they are bench warmers with an uninspired performance and the 1-0 defeat, courtesy of a deflected Rodrigo Tello effort, leaves the Red Devils needing a point to ensure they top Group B and secure a favourable tie in the last 16.

The bookies may have to cancel Christmas after this one, with many punters gambling on an upset at the Theatre of Dreams this evening!

Player of the Night - Besiktas keeper Recber Rustu, whose heroic stops at Old Trafford confirmed his side's famous win over the 2008 champions.

In the second half the 36-year old was tested with numerous long range efforts, which he dealt with comfortably, but Rustu saved the best till last as he denied two late headers from Federico Macheda and Wes Brown with genuinely world class saves.

Give that lad a pat on the back, and tell him to get a haircut while you're there!

Donkey of the Night - For the first time in it's illustrious history, no donkey's were spotted out and about in the UEFA Champions League on Wednesday evening, but closer to home Kamil Zayatte was seen scoring a spectacularly ridiculous own goal as he swung and sliced an Everton corner into the his own net.

Absolute donkey-fest Kamil! Oh, and I pity you if Hull is 'closer to home', I really do.

Goal of the Night - Chelsea displayed their predatory instincts in a swift and flowing move to grab the only goal in Porto and confirm their status as top dogs in Group D.

A slick counter attack saw Florent Malouda recieve the ball in his favoured wide-left area before sending a pinpoint cross for Nicolas Anelka to launch himself at and thump into the net off his shiny noggin.

Talking Point of the Night - The return of FIFA World Player of the Year, Cristiano Ronaldo, who has been sidelined for over a month after being on the receiving end of a nasty tackle against Marseille.

The Portuguese winger came off the bench in Real Madrid's 1-0 home win over FC Zurich, and looks set to take part in Sunday's mouthwatering 'El Clasico' derby as Real travel to Camp Nou to face arch rivals Barcelona.

We. Cannot. Wait.

Team of the Night (4-3-3) - Rustu (Besiktas); Koybasi (Besiktas), Pepe (Real Madrid), Carvalho (Chelsea), Planus (Bordeaux); Malouda (Chelsea), Krasic (CSKA Moscow), Simao (Atletico Madrid); Anelka (Chelsea), Higuain (Real Madrid), Necid (CSKA Moscow)