Following the fine and touchline ban handed out to Sir Alex Ferguson on Thursday, and the other various incidents between Premier League managers and the Football Association, we here at ExtraFootie decided to spy on a recent meeting at FA headquarters where all the countries top managers assembled in front of Lord Triesman...

Triesman: Right, thank you all for coming, hopefully this won't take too long and we can all be out of here before lunch time, but first lets take a register. Wenger?

Wenger: Here!

Triesman: O'Neill?

O'Neill: Here sir!

Triesman: McLeish? Hang on...what is it Ferguson?

Ferguson: Well sir, I just wanted to say on behalf of the whole class, we want a new PE teacher.

Triesman: What? What's wrong with Mr Wiley?

Ferguson: He's out of shape, he can't keep up with the play. We were playing hockey the other day and he was stopping us every five minutes so he could catch his breath, it's ridiculous!

Triesman: And you all feel this way?

Ferguson, Bruce & Allardyce: Yes!

Martinez: (Under his breath) Typical.

Triesman: Well this is a serious accusation Ferguson. Wenger, can you back him up on this?

Wenger: I'm sorry sir, I didn't see it.

Triesman: No of course you didn't, did anyone else see what happened in PE the other day? Yes Benitez.

Benitez: (Puts on a pair of glasses and takes out a notepad) Well sir, first of all Ferguson is just blackmailing Mr Wiley so he'll give him extra playtime in future, that's a FACT! He's done this many times before but for some reason the rest of the faculty don't see it, FACT! Also, I saw Ferguson behind the bike sheds smoking with the bigger boys, and that's a FACT!

Triesman: Ha ha, oh please Benitez, they may all be true and relevant facts, but until you can say the word 'fact' without me laughing at your 'Manuel-like' pronunciation I'll pay no attention to these crimes by Ferguson.

Benitez: Damn and blast! Foiled again.

Triesman: Now anyway, where were we? Hey! Allardyce, get Coyle out of that headlock, I know he's the new boy but there's no need for that kind of behaviour!

Allardyce: Sorry sir. (Whispers to Coyle) I'll get you after class new boy.

Hughes enters the room.

Triesman: Hughes you're late, what time do you call...is that a cashmere sweater?

Hughes: Yes sir, my new rich uncle buys me nice things. He got me a rare Argentinian pitbull, two Gunners and even bought me my very own Bridge! I also have my own personal Santa now. And I got a Brazilian...

Triesman: That's enough Hughes, now sit down. Now back to the register, Redknapp? Redknapp! Get your hand out of the dinner money tray!!!

Redknapp: It wasn't me sir, a bigger boy told me to do it.

Triesman: Don't let me catch you at it again. Pulis? (Silence) Pulis? Where's Pulis?

Brown: He's at home sir, he always works much better at home.

Triesman: Ah right of course. Ancelotti?

Ancellotti: Here!

Triesman: Hodgson?

Hodgson: Here sir.

Triesman: Moyes? (He notices Moyes and McLeish gently sobbing in the corner) What's wrong boys?

Moyes: We've been getting picked on by everyone else, even though I've done all this great work with hardly any money.

McLiesh: It's because we're Scottish sir.

Triesman: Really? Well that's atrocious behaviour, class you should be ashamed of yourselves!

McCarthy: But sir, it's nothing to do with them being Scottish, it's because they're ginger!

Triesman: Oh, well in that case fair enough, pull yourself together boys. Now, back to this business with Mr Wiley, Ferguson, are you issuing a formal complaint that Mr Wiley isn't good enough to do his job?

Ferguson: Yes sir I am!

Treisman: Well in that case I'm fining you two gold stars from the good behaviour chart and your in detention for the next two playtimes.

Ferguson: Ah rats!

And there you have it, this is what really goes on at FA meetings, we hope you enjoyed this little insight into the dark underbelly of English football.

Disclaimer: None of the above actually happened and is even remotely close to true occurrences, except the Moyes and McLeish bit of course!